I struggle. I struggle to find the balance. It bothers me that I dont have dreams. It bothers me that I dont know what I want to do with the future. At the same time I know that that has been my salvation. I know that the things that annoy me the most are exactly the things that are my essence and that saved me so many times.
It is nice to see life as I see it in this exact moment: everything is possible. I have always been quite happy with having all doors open. That is maybe a lie. Having so many doors it's been a problem. Even though maybe a good problem.
Nothing is concrete and clear, everything has two or more sides. We are not exactly what we are, we are more and bigger than ourselves.
The magic of life... We forget about it. We dont want to believe in it. We turn our backs at it. I dont want to be like everyone else. Never wished to be like everyone else.
I keep being a bit off, a bit odd, a bit out of place, a bit loud, a bit too honest, a bit too much. Because I know that one day it will make sense. I feel it in my skin that already does.
I know that real life can be like a dream because I almost touched so many of those dreams; they were almost mine. I believe I will be able to embrace it someday, smile and say: So this is it?
I know I will want more. Will you too?
AR
