Disconnected

 Love isnt the same concept it was many years ago. Time changes everything and your perspective and what exactly you feel changes over time. Also other things become more important. Priorities change. 

And now I look at all of you, and even though I would like to say I love you all or at least I love one of you. Once again I want to let you be. I want to let me be. Once again I dont want to dive into anything, once again I dont feel I have the energy for any of this. So I clock out. I stop thinking about any of you. I could be angry at myself but I am not. I dont care. I dont care anymore. And not hurting feels good and bad at the same time. I disconected something in me, that I am not sure if I will ever be able to connect again. 

What I know is that I am ready for a new year.

AR

Letting go

 The light is easier to find than what we thought.

It doesn't need to come with fireworks, celebrations and trophies.

Happiness isn't an intense and permanent feeling.

Nothing is permanent.

The changes are life itself,

without them, there is no point in living.

The small things are the big things.

But people tend to always look the other side.

We sabotage ourselves often,

there is a chance we are better at that than anything else.

People are weird, complicated, complex, fucked up, crazy, impossible...

And still...

I shine with each new interaction.

The unknown is still hope.

As I am not entirely sure what I mean.

At least I am showing up, sharing, caring...

At least I am still here.

Now, being here has been peaceful,

Better than the unknown.

So, maybe, just maybe, I can breathe now.

And starting to let go of my old me.

AR